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It’s always a good time when you round up a few of the guys and watch the draft, but it can be an exercise in patience for even the most diehard NFL fan. For some reason, it seems like every team has to use up all of their allotted time to make their selection, and the endless speculation by analysts can border on sickening. With this drinking game I’ve assembled, you’ll hopefully have a much better time hurling slurred insults at your team while they set themselves up for yet another season of mediocrity. The NFL Draft will begin on Thursday, April 26 at 7 p.m. CST.
WARNING: Most of you probably know this already, but do not log into Reddit or Twitter during the draft if you care at all about teams’ selections being revealed before they’re made in real time.
Take one drink if…
•An analyst feels the need to spoil a pick before it’s made.
•A player has an awkward handshake with Roger Goodell.
•The Ravens take a 300+ pound defensive tackle in the first round.
•Quenton Nelson is referred to as “the safest pick in the draft.”
•Someone says “there’s no Andrew Luck in this QB class.”
•Whomever the Browns draft “will have the chance to come in and compete right away.”
•Mike Mayock is wearing a dumb outfit.
•“(Team) is looking to be more physical this year.”
•“This guy will help them make the transition to a (3-4 or 4-3).”
Take two drinks if…
•Roquan Smith falls out of the top 20 picks because of his health concerns.
•New England trades up into the top ten.
•Mel Kiper viciously insults a team’s pick.
•Two running backs go in the first round.
•“Let’s hope this tight end can translate his basketball prowess into football production.”
•“Minkah Fitzpatrick/Derwin James can really fly all over the field and eat up space.”
•An old analyst talks about when he played “real football,” or “back when men were men.”
Finish your drink if…
•Five quarterbacks are taken in the first 10 picks.
•Mason Rudolph is taken in the first round.
•The Browns don’t take a quarterback with the first pick.
•More than two wide receivers are taken in the first round.
•Mike Mayock comes up with a dumb nickname for a player.
•If Aaron Hernandez is mentioned in a distasteful way, drink three beers, but don’t admit to drinking any of them.
•If Ryan Leaf is brought into a panel discussion, get popped for breaking into a home to steal prescription pain medication.
•If Johnny Manziel’s Spring League performance gets brought up, play the song “Draft Day” by Drake.
•Any time Ray Lewis is mentioned, allegedly finish your beer and dispose of it, leaving no evidence.
•Down a 12 pack if your team still has no hope of making the playoffs.
Image via Wikimedia Commons