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It’s always a good time when you round up a few of the guys and watch the draft, but it can be an exercise in patience for even the most diehard NFL fan. For some reason, it seems like every team has to use up all of their allotted time to make their selection, and the endless speculation by analysts can border on sickening. With this drinking game I’ve assembled, you’ll hopefully have a much better time hurling slurred insults at your team while they set themselves up for yet another season of mediocrity. The NFL Draft will begin on Thursday, April 27 at 8 p.m. EST.
Take one drink if…
•The lack of talent at quarterback in this year’s draft is mentioned.
•Malik Hooker or Jamal Adams are referred to as “a real centerfielder.”
•The LA Rams trade up into the first round to address their piss-poor offense.
•A defensive lineman is referred to as “the safest pick in the draft.”
•Someone says “there’s no Andrew Luck in this QB class.”
•Whomever the Browns draft “will have the chance to come in and compete right away.”
•Mike Mayock is wearing a dumb outfit.
•“(Team) is looking to be more physical this year.”
•“This guy will help them make the transition to a (3-4 or 4-3).”
Take two drinks if…
•Reuben Foster falls out of the top 20 picks because of his drug test results.
•Pat Mahomes II is taken in the first round.
•Mel Kiper viciously insults a team’s pick.
•Two running backs go in the top 10.
•“Let’s hope this tight end can translate his basketball prowess into football production.”
•“Jabrill Peppers can really fly all over the field and eat up space.”
•An old analyst talks about when he played “real football,” or “back when men were men.”
Finish your drink if…
•No quarterbacks are taken in the first 10 picks.
•Davis Webb is taken in the first round.
•The Browns take Mitchell Trubisky with the first pick.
•More than three wide receivers are taken in the first round.
•Mike Mayock comes up with a dumb nickname for a player.
•If Aaron Hernandez is mentioned in a distasteful way, drink three beers, but don’t admit to drinking any of them.
•If Ryan Leaf is mentioned, get popped for breaking into a home to steal prescription pain medication.
•If Johnny Manziel is mentioned, get a couple tattoos and lose 20 pounds.
•Any time Ray Lewis is mentioned, allegedly finish your beer and dispose of it, leaving no evidence.
•Down a whole case of beer if your team still has no hope of making the playoffs. Go Bears..
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