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Porn Site Is Making Brendan Dassey’s Dreams Come True By Sending Him To Wrestlemania

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xHamster is fulfilling a 16-year-old boy’s long-lost dream. No, not like that. Brendan Dassey, of Netflix’s “Making of a Murderer” fame (infamy?), is finally getting out of prison and will soon be heading to Wrestlemania.

Porn website xHamster is sending Dassey, who was 16 years old when convicted of helping his uncle Steven Avery rape and murder Teresea Halbach in 2005, to Wrestlemania 2017 in Orlando, Florida.

From Complex:

’We are pleased that we can make this young man’s dream of going to WrestleMania come true,’ xHamster spokesperson Alex Hawkins told Complex in a statement Monday. ‘We have been in talks with the family and they are more than thrilled that Brendan will get this opportunity after so many years of heartache and injustice. We are waiting on a response from Brendan and we know he will be thrilled that he is going to WrestleMania when he gets out.’

Well done, everyone. All of those years of watching porn and angrily jerking it to a chick banging a horse are finally paying off. xHamster, making real dreams cum true.

Dassey was so excited after hearing the news that he released a short statement: “Yeah?”

Dassey, who was shown on “Making of a Murderer” more distraught that he couldn’t watch Wrestlemania than the fact he could be going to prison for his whole life, will definitely have a summer to remember.

Dassey’s life-in-prison conviction was overturned by a federal court judge in Milwaukee about a week ago. The judge said cops obtained information from him illegally and ordered Dassey be released from prison in 90 days.

From the looks of it, the upcoming Wrestlemania will be one to remember, too. Keep in mind, weird shit always happens in Florida. Imagine what will happen when thousands of WWE fans descend on the state.

Well done, Brendan. I’m proud of you.

[via Complex]

Image via YouTube

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El Taco

Either a war hero or war criminal depending on how you look at it

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