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X Gon’ Give It To George Zimmerman

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The notorious ex-neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman has agreed to take part in a celebrity boxing match next month, according to promoter Damon Feldman.

His opponent? DMX.

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

For those of you who don’t know, George Zimmerman was the pretend cop who fatally shot 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in 2012.

It was a huge ordeal, and although Zimmerman was charged with second-degree murder and manslaughter, he was acquitted last July. Zimmerman has since become the infamous poster boy for racism and brutality across the country. But he’s a free man, so now I guess he’s considered a celebrity. That’s how things work nowadays.

Feldman is paying Zimmerman, along with whoever is chosen of the nearly 15,000 applicants who have reached out with interest to join him in the ring. For what it’s worth, Zimmerman will supposedly donate his proceeds to charity. It is reported that last week, rapper The Game (who clocks in at 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds) challenged Zimmerman on TMZ Live, but that Feldman declined.

That being said, Zimmerman, who is 5 feet 7 inch, has been training recently. I, for one, would have loved to see The Game fuck him up. I personally think the guy is a pig, but we try not to get too controversial or political here at TFM. We tend to leave that to washed-out rappers and racist neighborhood watchman.

Enter DMX into the conversation. (Let it be known, these are his actual quotes.)

“I am going to beat the living fuck out him.”

Right on, DMX. Fuck yeah. Looks like we found our guy.

“I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I fuck him right up.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself. I love your passion and intensity.

“Once I am done with him, I am going to whip my dick out and piss on him.”

Whoa, take it easy, X.

“Right in his motherfucking face.”

Too far, dude. Too far.

“Zimmerman is a piece of shit and that’s what he needs to drink.”

Well I maybe understand your logic now, I guess…

Keep in mind that DMX is 43 and Zimmerman is 30.

This is not a done deal, but as of Feb. 5, it was reported that DMX still wanted to talk money. I think the verbal agreement to go all R. Kelly on him seems contractually binding enough, but that’s just me.

For the record, DMX’s supposed net worth is -$10 million. Yes, you read that right, negative ten mill. Like the opposite of $10 million. So hey, beating the shit out of Zimmerman could maybe sell a couple extra records next time he releases something.

DMX sees this as an opportunity of retribution for “every black person who has been done wrong in the system.”

However, Feldman disagrees. “We’re not looking at it as a race thing … We haven’t discussed purple, yellow, white, black.”

The three-round match is set for March 1 and it should be one for the ages.

Zimmerman has stated he wants to fight Kanye West, for, ironically enough, attacking “defenseless people.” I’m sure we’d all love to see Yeezus and Zimm duke it out.

If you want a shot, email for your chance to fight Zimmerman. That’s right, they even made a Hotmail account for this. Shit’s legit.

Of course, we will keep you updated as this story unfolds. Never fear, TFMers, we’re here for you.

[via Billboard, TMZ]

Image via def sounds

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Nathaniel Light

Nathaniel Light is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move. Nate spends his free time drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and covering his food in chili and cheese. This has led to slight weight gain, but he has been told that he resembles a "J. Crew model ten pounds overweight." It was either the nicest insult or the meanest compliment he has ever received. His picture is a metaphor, but it actually happened.

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