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Stephanie Beaudoin, a 21-year-old Canadian woman, went viral a couple years ago after stealing $58,000 worth of items over the course of 42 separate break-ins. But it wasn’t her criminal prowess that launched her into brief internet fame — it was her great set of cans.
This week, homegirl was sentenced to 90 days in jail. “The world’s sexiest thief” also locked down a modeling gig with some French-sounding magazine, Summum, and a contract with a top-tier modeling agency.
She’s pretty hot. Not cover-of-Sports-Illustrated-Swimsuit-Edition hot (actually, maybe she is. Thanks, feminism). But let’s just say I’d 100 percent let this thief steal my virginity.
There’s a lesson to be learned here, kids.
If you’re an ugly person, you can expect a 90-day jail sentence to drastically hinder both your career and your life. But if you’re a semi-attractive girl with a hefty set of silicon jiblets, that same sentence is a doorway to a whole new world of wonderful possibilities. And here I am, sitting at a laptop with an insatiable erection, promoting her bullshit career and further perpetuating the world’s woefully misplaced sense of worth for the sake of page views. I know, I know. Fuck me. But I still don’t fully understand the concept of multiplication and Daddy’s gotta make bread somehow..
Image via YouTube