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Spontaneity is the key to a healthy relationship. Surprising your partner with an unexpected display of affection keeps the fire alive. Try sending flowers to your significant other’s office. Make dinner reservations for that new place across town. Get blackout drunk in the middle of the day and plow on the pavement of a crowded shopping center parking lot.
One happy Virginia couple is in hot water for doing the last one, because people are prude as fuck. Kimberly Jackson, 36, was arrested after being caught riding her unconscious boyfriend, Earl Palmer, outside of a Norfolk shopping center.
The interview is captivating:
It’s worth noting that this story would have been totally different had the roles been reversed, and the woman was the one unconscious. Just sayin’.
Love how the newscasters get all serious, like some sort of terrible tragedy that threatens to upend the community as they know it had just occurred. Prudes, I say.
Also love how Earl straight up calls out the news lady for being boring as fuck in the bedroom.
“Not being disrespectful to you, have you ever been spontaneous?”
“Not that spontaneous.”
“Ok, but you see my point.”
The point is, Earl took one look at this news chick, and immediately sniffed out how lame her sex life is. Nuns have ventured further from the missionary than she has.
The best part is at the end, when the news lady asks, “Is something like this going to happen again?”
Kimberly immediately says no.
After thinking about it for a moment, Earl says “I don’t know,” in a sassy tone that translates to “Yeah, I probably will, the fuck does it concern you?”
Image via YouTube