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Wisconsin Sigma Chi Suspended For Singing Alternative Facts Of Chapter’s Sexual Prowess

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The Sigma Chi chapter at the University of Wisconsin-Madison has been put on suspension by a school committee for providing minors with both alcohol and alternative facts through song and interpretive hip thrust talking up brothers’ sexual abilities.

Egregious claims of being “bad motherfuckers” with the cock swordsmanship of a Viagra-loaded Zorro capable of taking down 100 women in one session has left the “True Sons of Christ” with nothing but their dicks and Norman Shields in hand for the semester. The young men will be in isolation, unable to hold fraternity events and activities as a recognized student group.

We were able to secure lyrics to the erotic hymn so you could sing along at home.

From The Daily Cardinal:

“Up jumped a Sig from fraternity row. He was a bad motherfucker you could tell by his clothes. He wore a two button blazer with the white crossed stitch. The ladies loved that son of a bitch. He walked around campus with his dick in his hand. Said hey ladies, I’m the bee bop man. He once lined 100 slams up against the wall, and bet a Beta $100 he could fuck them all. He fucked 98 until his balls turned blue, backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two. When he died, he went straight to hell. Fucked the devil’s daughter and his wife as well. On his tombstone inscribed in cream reads ‘here lies a mean Sig fucking machine.'”

Having trouble with the ladies out at the bar? Just drop “I’m the bee bop man” in casual conversation and there will be a Women’s March — 200,000 strong — lined up right into your bedroom.

Now some have issue with this tribalistic chant, as they believe it promotes sexual assault and rape culture. But personally, I’m a little disturbed with both the logistics of handling yourself with 100 different women and the encouragement of adultery from a Christian organization. Sure, it’s the devil’s wife, and if anyone was to cheat it’s that blazing demon banshee, but eternal damnation to brimstone and Satanic fire doesn’t mean you have to be such a homewrecking piece of shit.

[via The Daily Cardinal]

Image via UW Sigma Chi

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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