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Wisconsin Kappa Sigma Brother Bodies Knife-Wielding Punk Attempting To Burglarize Fraternity House

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A member of UW-Madison Kappa Sigma stopped the burglary of his beloved chapter house Monday night, tackling and holding down one of three teenage intruders allowing his girlfriend to disarm the suspect of the knife clipped to his belt and neutralize the juvenile delinquent until police arrived to make the arrest.

From The Badger Herald:

Madison Police arrested a 16-year-old Madison resident after he and two other suspects were stopped mid-robbery at the University of Wisconsin Kappa Sigma fraternity house on 124 Langdon St.

The teen who was arrested had a number of suspicious items on his person, most of which were found in his backpack. Police found him in possession of five knives, a lock picking set, a fake driver’s license and several items that had likely been stolen, including a debit card.

The detained teen has been arrested on tentative charges of burglary, possession of burglarious tools, carrying a concealed weapon, disorderly conduct, curfew violation and underage person carrying an ID that’s not theirs. Because he is a minor, he is being detained at the Juvenile Reception Center.

What a night for this Kappa Sig. He got to body up and throw around some underage (probably much smaller) punk, make a citizen’s arrest, and look like a complete alpha in front of his woman. Zero chance they’ve left the bedroom at all over the last two days. I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing hero sex myself, but I have to imagine it’s right up there in the top pantheon of hookups with breakup sex and hotel room sex. Kid’s probably shooting out air as I type this after his girl sucked him clean dry for the 75th time over the last 40 hours or so. Congrats, player.

As for the perp, I’m sure this isn’t his first rodeo with the criminal justice system. No one’s a five knife guy and not done time. Five knife guy came out of the womb with a record. There was never a sliver of hope that five knife guy would be a contributing member of society. His transgressions will only escalate moving forward, and he’ll be in and out of jail for the next two decades before falling victim to his own knife at the hand of some homeless meth fiend. It’ll be as insignificant as it is poetic. Five knife guy never had a chance in this world.

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[via Badger Herald]

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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