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Wildlife Cameras Catch Politician Having Sex in a Forest

Welcome to the 21st century, where you can’t even bang in the privacy of a forest anymore. Is there no limit to technology’s ever wandering eye?!? But seriously this might be the best Planet Earth outtake ever.

A currently unnamed politician from Austria was recently captured on video by wildlife cameras, placed in a woodland hunting preserve, having a romantic forest rendezvous with someone who was probably either an intern or a prostitute. Either that or he and his wife were into some weird forest nymph roleplaying. Bizarre forest sex is definitely a possibility. Austrians are practically Germans, who are of course accomplished pervs.

Unfortunately we probably won’t find out exactly what was happening between the politician and his woodland lover, as the “sex tape” has pretty much no chance of being released. There is a standard $25,000 fine for filming people having sex without their knowledge and then releasing the footage. There’s a standard fine in Austria for that. It apparently happens enough that they had to specifically put it on the books. Like I said, accomplished pervs.

The incident has actually sparked a bit of a personal privacy debate in Austria. Many are calling for the wildlife cameras to be clearly labeled, presumably so that when future forest lovers lay down on a soft patch of moss and get intimate they won’t have to worry about some creepy, bearded hunter jackin’ it in a log cabin fifty miles away. These are the the political debates they have in Austria.

As far as I’m concerned the couple should consider themselves lucky that being filmed was the worst thing that happened them. Getting caught having sex in a forest hunting preserve in Austria sounds like the first five minutes of a Human Centipede sequel. Things could definitely have been worse. If that chick was on her period dozens of bears might have descended upon the couple and viscously mauled them. Bears can smell menstruation. It’s a fact.

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