I like football but I’m a pretty casual fan. I don’t follow the NFL closely. Hell, I didn’t even know about the national anthem controversy until I saw everyone on Facebook argue about it for a week. My only opinion on the anthem protests was “Why the hell would they play the national anthem before every game when the “Hey Ya” by Outkast is way catchier?” But I digress.
When it comes to football, I got 3 teams: the Ravens, the Bears, and the Patriots. The Ravens are because I lived in Baltimore for a long time. The Bears are because I lived in Chicago as a kid (and because of that “da bears” skit on SNL, duh).
But the Patriots are my team. Mainly because my mom grew up in Boston, and she’s a hardcore Pats fan. Don’t worry, though, my mother doesn’t have a Boston accent. If she did I would have ran away from home by the time I hit middle school.
So I’m a Patriots guy — mostly because of my family. But also because, let’s face it, Tom Brady seems to be the GOAT (at least to the untrained eye). I don’t know enough about the game to compare stats with you, so I could be wrong, but he seems like a god on Earth.
But a lot of people DESPISE Tom Brady on a molecular level. Why? I’m not asking that rhetorically. I genuinely don’t know.
Some people say he’s a villain because of the whole DeflateGate fiasco, but I remember people hating him before that. Side note: can we PLEASE start using the term “DeflateGate” to describe losing an erection? Other people say he’s polarizing because he pissed off half of America when he came out as a Trump supporter, but I remember people hating him before the election. It ain’t deflated balls and it ain’t politics. So what is it?
Is it because he’s the greatest? The most talented athletes tend to be polarizing for some reason. Lebron is a polarizing figure, even though he’s clearly a fucking superhero. Mayweather is GOAT material and people loathe him. But granted, people have justified reasons to hate Floyd since he’s a massive shithead in his personal life.
But Tom has never had a real scandal. He’s never been accused of beating, killing or raping anyone. It seems like his WORST crime is being cocky. But why shouldn’t he be? The dude is insanely talented and he’s racked up every accolade possible. He’s earned every right to be cocky. If I were Tom Brady, I’d be the most insufferable, arrogant prick in America.
Is it because he seems to have a perfect life? He’s the biggest athlete on Earth, he’s filthy rich, and has a smoking hot wife. Hell, who wouldn’t hate that guy? He’s basically the American dream. Who wouldn’t wanna trade shoes with Tom Brady for a minute or two? Makes sense.
I’ve been doing strenuous research to answer this question. I have 700 plus tabs open on my computer. I have dozens of books on my desk, along with thousands of notes. I haven’t slept in weeks. I’ve got a bunch of newspaper articles and post-it notes on my wall connected with thumbtacks and strings, like a crazy conspiracy theorist. I’m on the brink of cracking the case.
So someone PLEASE end my misery and tell me, why the fuck does everyone does hate Tom Brady? I’m done researching and studying, I need to sleep..
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