Current Events

Who Needs Bath Salts When Fake Weed Makes You Eat a Dog?

It started off as a normal day for 22-year old Texan Michael Terron Daniel, but after a few puffs of a completely legal synthetic cannibis product, known as K2, he found himself in the throes of a canine killing rampage.

After informing his neighbors that he was experiencing a “bad trip,” Daniel proceeded to get down on all-fours to chase and imitate the dog. While I love to laugh at videos of people fucked up via hallucinogens on YouTube just as much as the next guy, Daniel’s next move was more than a little unsettling.

After his undoubtedly flawless dog imitation, he began to viciously strike and strangle the animal to death. After the dog fell limp, he moved on to his best zombie impression and gnawed bit after bit of flesh from the dog’s fresh corpse.

The police arrived on the scene shortly afterward, where they say Mr. Daniel bathed in gore, begging to be shot by a stun gun “to help him get off his bad trip.”

We’ve all heard the “drugs are bad” speech throughout our lives, though after years of collegiate mind-bending we realized that a more truthful statement would be “doing a lot of some drugs can be bad.”

K2 without a doubt falls into the “bad drugs” category. The product is often sold at head shops, and is labeled as a “herbal incense,” donning a fairly noticeable “You Probably Shouldn’t Smoke This” warning. However, labels in this case are extremely misleading, as the product is 100% intended to be smoked. The synthetic cannabinoids within are designed to be comparable to smoking weed.

While synthetic cannabis has never been officially studied, its consumption has been known to have “psychotic episodes” as a side effect, as our dog-chewing friend Mr. Daniel has clearly demonstrated.

My question is this: would it really have been that hard for him to find some good old fashioned, not-going-to-make-you-murder-and-eat-a-dog ganja? Hell, it’s practically legal in half the country at this point, and resorting to a laboratory cocktail of synthetic chemicals just doesn’t seem to be the safest way to get your fix.

If only Michael Terron Daniel had gone for the real thing he could have avoided his pet-butchering rampage altogether. I guess sitting on the couch for a few hours watching reruns of “Storage Wars” just wasn’t good enough for him.

Email this to a friend

StuffFratPeopleLike

StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

11 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More