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I’m going to spend the first hour of my night drinking beer casually, until an attractive girl I know asks for shots. I will then become the most charming, handsome, confident, and intoxicated brother in the room over a span of 38 minutes. A knee scraping, fight inducing Category-5 blackout will commence. I will still manage to get my shit done tomorrow.
I’ve slept with enough girls in that sorority to get blackballed. I’m no longer welcome on their functions, and get vengeful stares as I walk by their house.
I’m very confident about this test, despite the fact I spent 90% of the past week Facebook browsing and flirting with sorority girls at the library. I will cram the entire day and still manage to swing a B-minus.
We are going to haze your shrunken freshman balls off.
I don’t appreciate it when pledges use abbreviations, and will use a spelling error to prove my point.
The social starts at 10:30 tonight.
This chapter meeting is taking too fucking long.
A blowtorch is not an appropriate way to instill fear in a pledge training program.
Her face looked like an orangutan.
I’m trying to hide how drunk I am.
I didn’t close.
I didn’t want to miss Formal this weekend, so I made up a story. This will be my seventh grandma funeral so far in college.
Do you guys want to get cart-crashingly drunk at the golf course, hit on the beverage girl, and shoot an average score of 160 tomorrow?
Please don’t drink heavily before our intramural game.
I’m going to be at the bar from 3pm-Close. There is no chance I’m seeing you.
I’ve been at the bars six nights in a row, but due to the wonders of test banks and adderall I will still get an A.
I’ve drank enough tonight to convince myself that I have an amazing singing voice, and will loudly share my newfound talents with the hot girl who has been eyeing my dick all night.
We are going to have to bail a brother out of jail at Formal this semester.
That dress makes your tits look awesome.
I fucking love America.