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These things are out there, aren’t they? They legit just look like retro Jordan basketball shoes with soft spikes on them. From the hardcourt to the first tee box.
They’re high tops, first of all. Can you even wear high tops with shorts? You can’t without looking like a total dweeb, right? Does Nike know that 90% of all amateur golf is played in shorts? But then I also think you can’t really wear high top shoes with your standard khaki or golf pants. The ones with the standard opening at the bottom. I guess you’d have to wear the Rickie Fowler joggers, right? Those are the only bottoms that work? So basically buying these is committing to looking like a dickhead on the course.
Look at the model shot above. Fuck this guy. You wearing leggings, dawg? Are those spandex pants? Did you just come from bikram yoga? You follow yoga up with mimosas at brunch? Do you go to the course like that, man? Your friends don’t kick your ass when you get out of the car in those things? What’s the matter with you? Fuck you.
Two things are certain: 1) I will not own these. 2) Will deFries will..
Image via Shutterstock