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Remember when everyone’s favorite overachieving, short, white NFL receiver won over 50 grand at the Kentucky Derby in a fedora and shared his winnings with fans in the form of $100 handshakes? Wes Welker was on a hot streak. He was rolling.
Turns out the Molly he was on ascended Welker’s brain into a temporary, Rain Man-esque state of clarity and brain functionality. His neurons were firing at an unprecedented rate. Where Rain Man’s beautiful mind was useful on the blackjack table, Welker could pick the fuck out of some winning horses.
Unfortunately for Welker, the NFL caught wind of his Molly use after he failed a drug test, testing positive for MDMA. He has been suspended for the first four games of the season.
From The Boston Globe:
Welker, 33, tested positive for the party drug MDMA, otherwise known as Molly, according to a report from ProFootballTalk. Welker took the drug, which is made with amphetamines that are flagged by the NFL, while attending the Kentucky Derby in May and tested positive shortly thereafter.
Per the NFL Network, Welker appealed the suspension and lost. Welker’s suspension will start immediately and end well before the Broncos visit New England in Week 9.
Slugging 1,000-dollar mint juleps and popping Molly at the Derby. See this face? This is the face of a man who had an awesome time at Churchill Downs.
[via The Boston Globe]