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We’re Looking To Hire The Nerdiest Web Developer In The Country

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I told our Tech Guy the only way I’d write this job posting for him is on the condition that I get to write my own title. He apprehensively agreed. That’s my title–abrasive, but not too abrasive, eye-catching, effective. I feel good about it. And let’s call a spade a spade here; we need us a computer nerd, one who not only considers himself the best and nerdiest candidate available, but one who can back it up, too.

Grandex is searching for a full-time web developer to join our staff in Austin, TX. If you consider yourself the best of the best, and you believe you’d thrive in our unbeatable work environment, keep reading.

This position entails developing new features for our existing and future content sites and e-commerce platforms, as well as building internal tools for our back office teams…plus a ton of other nerdy lingo that I’m incapable of relaying in non-nerd vernacular.

Why do you want to work with us?

    • We offer the best work environment you’ll find anywhere. We’ve got it all: office playlist jamming throughout the place, a ping pong table, a beer fridge, and even a Golden Tee machine that I will embarrass your ass on. We work hard and play hard.
    • We are a rapidly expanding company. The staff has tripled in size over the last year, but you’d still be getting in near the ground floor. We’re just getting started.
    • The tech team is just getting off the ground. There is no bureaucracy to speak of, and your projects will shape the future of the company.
    • Traffic to our media sites has grown 650% over the last year.
    • Rowdy Gentleman is a fast-growing men’s apparel brand that currently sells hundreds of thousands of products annually–online and through its network of brick and mortar retail partners.
    • Grandex is actively developing new brands and launching new subsidiaries.
    • Our business follows a truly unique model where we power commerce through original media.
    • Mark Zuckerberg. Mark Cuban. Evan Spiegel. Frat tech billionaires. I’m just throwing darts now.


    • You must have mastery of HTML/CSS/JS. These are the basic building blocks for everything we create.
    • You must have serious backend development skills. Existing applications are built in PHP, but you’ll be able to use the language of your choice moving forward.
    • You must be fluent in database management. We store millions of posts, comments, customers, orders, and products in databases. You’ll need to understand how to interact with this information and how to design future databases and tables.
    • You must have experience programming with third-party APIs. We have a lot of business partners, and we need to be able to communicate with them effectively.
    • You must be a quick learner. Our industry is always evolving and you must be able to understand emerging technologies as they apply to us.
    • You absolutely must possess a passion for Grandex brands.


If you believe you’re the perfect candidate for this position, email your résumé and preferably a portfolio to

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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