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We Need Ireland’s Inflatable Pubs In The States Right Now

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When my sophomore spring semester rolled around and I still cared about things like “status” and “respect”, I was pitted against a fellow founding father and senior for the esteemed position of Budget and Finance Chairman. I lacked any real knowledge of how budgets worked and really only ran to give my dude (who actually wanted the job) an opponent in the election. When it came time for a short speech, I stood front and center to say my piece. Instead of giving a heartfelt take on why my dude Slim Shady was perfect for the spot, I decided to attempt being funny.

“Gentlemen, if elected, I will allot all non-essential funds to purchasing kegs, bouncy houses, and slip and slides. You have been warned.”

Needless to say, I got the job. If I could go back though, the only thing I’d change wouldn’t be giving my dude an endorsement. It would be switching my purchases from bouncy houses to these inflatable pubs that are now up for rent.

“Standing 18-ft high, this 528-square-foot pub will hold up to 60 people and is decorated to look like a bad 3D model of a real Irish drinking room. This includes a tile roof and stone wall on the exterior along with two chimneys atop a fake fireplace — which ironically serves as the fire exit. The building is made from a tube-like structure which is erected and then covered with a plastic shell.
The inflatable pub breaks the mold for pneumatic structures. Usually, these kinds of projects are abstract forms that would be considered “beautiful.” The pub is basically a replica of a utilitarian structure, and not really “beautiful” at all. Secondly, the pub has a very specific function, unlike most inflatables, which are typically made for no functional purpose. They are often just installations, or they are general purpose spaces with no prescribed program.”

Get a load of these bad boys.

Being an eye-sore with a very specific function is basically every Recording Secretary’s modus operandi, so you can already see how this monstrosity belongs in your chapter’s life. The bar is essential to any house’s survival. Making it inflatable will greatly reduce your damage costs and make you the most mobile chapter on campus. Bouncy houses make the ladies flock (shout-out to Candi and Dana), so you can believe that posting up something this fluid on the quad will take you from gutter-dwelling to penthouse living.

It’s only available for rent in Ireland at the moment, but just challenge its creator to a drinking contest and put its rights up for grabs. If you’re not a huge pussy, you’ll be bringing these genius creations to America for the cost of some brain cells and a massive hangover. Just swap out Guinness for some ice cold Natty Light and you’re looking at the finest product since the iPhone.

Take note, fraternities and engineers of America. If you’re trying to make yourselves the food trucks of college debauchery we need these inflatable pubs here now. Just like a greasy food truck will have delicious food and a questionable health rating, your new mobile pub will be greasy and fulfilling. Plus, that Fire Escape looks like a fantastic place to lay some pipe.

Image via Architizer

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in Eastern NC where he spends his time roasting pigs and attempting to grow a beard. Karl enjoys drinking on elevated surfaces and rapping on podcasts.

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