Shut it down. Shut the whole damn internet down. Let’s go home because we just found the worst piece of video content to ever grace the world wide web thanks to a University of Florida Pike and Gators punter, Connor Gilboy.
Straight fire flames. The new monarch of monotone. The…fuck, I can’t do this. I typically like to play devil’s advocate, but there’s just no justifying this video’s existence.
I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say this was all tongue in cheek. I really do. That Gilboy isn’t this laughably narcissistic and actually did this whole “Hotline Bling” remix for Zeta Tau Alpha’s “King of Queens” completely in jest and purposely made it as ridiculously atrocious as humanly possible, but I don’t think that’s the case here.
Most athletes just aren’t that self aware. In his own mind, his humdrum flow and the shots of him continually taking off his shirt were dope AF. He doesn’t work that hard on his core to not show it off to the ladies. It’s the moneymaker. The panty dropper. Toss in the crown, grill, and dollar sign chain combo, and he’s got this competition wrapped up.
With that said, how someone in the fraternity, on the team, or even the fucking guy filming it didn’t just stop him from recording and releasing this abortion is mind blowing. Granted, this is easily the most Pike video I’ve ever seen, so his brothers were probably fist bumping and giving him “mad props.”
The saddest part about this whole ordeal is that Gilboy undoubtedly crushes UF sorority ass. All 5’8″ of him. Probably had the three girls in the beginning of the video all at once and every ZTA member now wants to at least tug him off. Chicks will overlook a lot of things if you look like Connor and play for the Gators. That’s just the way of life.
The Will Grier sighting at the end is sneakily the funniest thing in the video. I guess he doesn’t really have much going on nowadays..