Many, many people had less than stellar years in 2016. Dan Bilzerian — the poker playing playboy millionaire who has over 20 million Instagram followers — was not one of them. He made this fact abundantly clear by posting two very lengthy photo and video montages of all the awesome shit he got into last year.
Naked models and celebrities and private jets and fully-automatic weapons and lavish vacations and cliffside mansions and mountains of casino chips and drug lord-esque stacks of cash — that was Dan Bilzerian’s 2016.
Oh okay, dude. Nice. Good for you. We’re all so happy for you and wish you continued success in 2017!
Here’s the truth: I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t live like this. The Dan Bilzerian lifestyle is not for me. Give me a week or two living this way and I’m good. I’d have to get back to the basics of drinking cheap wine, hanging out with my very average friends, and hitting the usual bars on the weekend.
The perpetual moral hangover of his lifestyle would send me spiraling into a deep, dark place about six months in. I’d be done. There are only so many naked models and wild sex/drug/alcohol benders I can let into my life before it’s time to go to church and call my mom..
[via Instagram/ @danbilzerian]