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We Are All This Horny Sloth Swimming Across The Ocean Trying To Catch A Nut

Did you know sloths could swim? I didn’t. I was under the impression all they did was hang from tree limbs and do basically nothing except move their heads around slowly and look cute af. They have those long claws that aren’t exactly conducive to transporting oneself through the water.

It turns out they can swim, though, at least when they know there’s a chance they get to fuck. The Pygmy three-toed sloth seen is this video swims his little sloth dick off. Some motivation on the other side of this inlet on the island of Escudo is some hot sloth ass.

The effort. The determination. The long quest. The excitement. The letdown. The realization that other people are out there having sex and you’re not one of them — we are all this horny sloth swimming across an ocean trying to catch a nut, including the ending when he gets curved.

Planet Earth II keeps bringing it.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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