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Video: Goober Sets White Athletes Back Decades By Getting Completely Embarrassed On Basketball Court

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Imagine the lowest point in your life being caught on film. Now take that and multiple it by one-hundred. That’s exactly what we have here. Some poor white goober just trying to play defense during a pickup game, and everything goes horribly wrong.

This was just hard to watch. The slow penguin wobble plunge onto his side, the kid getting face fucked while on his knees, and the eventual “lay it all on the line” dive combined for the most brutal murder my eyes have ever witnessed.

I don’t care if the he was lighting it up from behind the arc before and after this homicide, there’s just no way he recovers. Any time he laces up his sneakers and steps foot onto a court he’ll be having PTSD because of this exact moment.

His first mistake was actually trying to play D. That shit may fly in 6th grade CYO ball, but everyone knows pickup is another animal. It’s all about who can hit the most uncontested shots. I advise everyone take a page out of Mark Titus’ book and just run from 3-point line to 3-point line. So long as you score more than the guy you defended, you played defense.

Just when guys like Jordy Nelson, Bryce Harper, and Kevin Love were starting to shake the “white guy athlete” stigma, this dude undid all their progress in about five seconds.

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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