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At this point, I’m more or less convinced that Braves catcher Evan Gattis is actually Thor, Norse god of thunder and the lamest Avenger. Last night, in a 5-2 loss to the Marlins, Gattis drilled a home run off of Rookie of the Year candidate Jose Fernandez in the top of the 6th inning. Gattis, who just last weekend in Philadelphia absolutely bombed the longest home run in the 2013 season, drilled this long ball into the left field seats where a young Marlins fan happened to be standing. Unfortunately for that Marlins fan, Gattis’ home run ball absolutely wrecked his world, and by world I mean dick. That’s right, from 350+ feet away, Evan Gattis hit an opposing fan in the dick with a home run. Why? Because he can, dammit. He’s Evan motherfucking Gattis.
First, the video:
That ball was crushed, as were that kid’s balls. The impact of Gattis’ home run was SO powerful that it actually knocked the poor little bastard out of his shoes, which this GIF from Buzzfeed illustrates perfectly:
Wow. Two things stand out to me here:
1) Why would anyone in their right mind stand in the way of a ball hit that hard off the bat of a man who could probably decapitate statues with his swing? There are cartoon characters that have taken less punishment from groin shots.
2) Holy crap, there are Marlins fans!
As if rooting for the Marlins wasn’t a big enough shot to the nuts on its own.