We first reported that University of Virginia Theta Chi Otto Warmbier had been arrested and detained by the North Korean government back in January of last year when it all went down. And while I knew at that time there was a decent chance he might be chilling in some hard labor camp over there some 16 months later — like he is — I never would’ve guessed that the American populace would care so little about one of their own being held captive by the most secretive, corrupt, and insane government in the world. Yet here we are.
I’m not going to say our petition’s failure was caused by whitehouse.gov not updating our petition’s signature count in real time — it sat at “1 signature” for like 3 weeks — but I’m 100% sure that’s exactly why we never reached 100K and why Otto isn’t sipping warm beers with his OX brothers in the basement right now while listening to “Broccoli” on repeat.
Because Otto’s parents, like us, want America to remember that one of their own is in North Korean shackles “planting apple trees” AKA using a comically small pickax to create pebbles from boulders, they recently took to CNN to update the world on what’s going down.
We want you back ASAP, Otto. Your first Michelob Ultra’s on John Duda..