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Everybody’s favorite mandatory online class is back in the news, as Title IX and “Think About It” have reached the west coast at the University of Southern California and must be completed before students can register for the spring semester. For those unfamiliar, this is the same course that Clemson undergrads were subjected to before the survey was ultimately suspended after questions asking how often students were getting it in were deemed too intrusive.
1. Even the lowball estimate has to be 100 percent. An entire school full of Evelyns, Kimberlys, Chloes, Treys, Aidens, and Xaviers? Yeah, they fuck.
2. At USC, it depends. Did your student film make Sunset? Have you had deep, in-depth conversations on how Diplo has altered your perception of life during those months? How often are you going into the barber to freshen up your undercut?
3. Are you having a casual yet “I’ll go nuclear the minute you don’t keep this exclusive” relationship with a seemingly cool leggy bleach blonde honey? Is she over your shoulder right now? Are you sure? Did you check over the other shoulder? Ah, yeah she’s there. One. For the love of God, I swear it’s just you.
4. Is this a trap? As a guy, I feel like answering this question honestly only gets me in trouble.
5. When the word “dank” is common vernacular on campus, I imagine this number being relatively high.
6. Including oral sex? Wait, what? If a girl made me wear a rubber before giving me dome, I’d have serious concerns.
If you didn’t enjoy the questionnaire, don’t worry, they then follow it up with a crowd pleasing interactive two hour lesson on sexual assault and consent..
[via Campus Reform]