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University of Tulsa Dean Suspends IFC For 60 Days, Declares Frat Martial Law

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Reports from the University of Tulsa are grim today, you guys. If you aren’t sitting down, I suggest you do, because I have some troubling news. Minors at the University of Tulsa are drinking. I know. Shocking stuff. Appalling, really. Thankfully, Dean Yolanda Taylor has responded accordingly and appropriately by ABOLISHING ALL STUDENT GOVERNANCE AND DECLARING MARTIAL LAW.

Well, sort of. Here’s the news I’ve been given by a helpful tipster, all sic’d.

Well apparently lots freshman students were returning to the freshman dorm very drunk and the dean just flipped shit. We [his fraternity] had to cancel a registered party because the dean threaten all of the row saying she was going to have campo [campus police] patrolling and giving out citation for anything and if we were caught having a party we would get royally fucked by Yolanda, our dean.

Also, the whole row is on social pro and we each received a different amount of fines for knocking on doors and throwing parties before formal rush started. And while IFC gave Pike the easiest punishment they could get Yolanda said that she was going to give them a punishment of her own choice.

She’s totally power tripping and all of the houses are getting fucked for it. Everything we are getting in trouble for this year happened last year and nothing happened.

I don’t know how much that helps but that’s pretty much what I know.

And this from another Tulsa tipster, which has a great ring to it.

IFC at Tulsa was suspended because every house dirty rushed and got caught and then we all got put on social probation starting September 1st. On Monday dean Taylor emailed all of the presidents and told them that she was postponing all of the victory parties that were planned for Monday night until after labor day( when we all go on social probation). Every house except for two said fuck you Yolanda and threw the parties anyway and today she freaked out and suspended IFC at the IFC meeting

According to sources from various University of Tulsa fraternities, all violations will now be reviewed by, and punishments for fraternities administered from, Dean Taylor, essentially making her the Judge Dredd of Tusla’s underage drinking scene. It doesn’t sound like she’s going to be taking it easy, either. What a noble and necessary undertaking. This lady clearly got into higher education for all the right reasons. It is raining shit on the University of Tulsa Greek system.

There is no telling whether or not the IFC will be reinstated at the end of 60 days or if Yolanda plans on going scorched earth on the row. All I know is I want Yolanda to be cool. BITCH BE COOL!


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