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University of Tennessee Pikes Love to Shove Stuff Up Each Other’s Asses, No Really

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There are a lot fucked up drinking trends. There are the kids that pour vodka into their eyeballs so that their parents won’t smell the booze on their breath. There are people who drink hand sanitizer, I assume to experience the nightmare world of drunk trailer park hobo. And then there are the people who do the butt stuff. Those people now apparently include Pikes at the University of Tennessee.

Alexander Broughton, 20, was dropped off at UT Medical Center around 1:30 a.m. Saturday, Knoxville Police said.

Hospital staff told investigators that Broughton was in critical condition and unresponsive when he arrived, with a blood alcohol content level above 0.4, which is considered toxic and potentially deadly.

Broughton has since been discharged from the hospital, according to UT Medical Center.

Investigators went to campus and found several other people, including three men, passed out at the Pi Kappa Alpha (“Pike”) house.

After conducting several interviews, investigators determined the fraternity members had been using rubber tubing to give each other alcohol enemas. Police said the practice heightens and speeds up the process of alcohol entering the blood stream because it bypasses filtering by the liver.

Why? Just why? How does one’s thought process take them from “A” to “B-hole,” so to speak. Essentially these kids wanted to know what it was like to feel really drunk, a feeling I’m fairly confident they were already very familiar with, so they decided to shove beer bongs or whatever up each other’s asses.

“Man, you know what would make this night awesome? If you played with my asshole until I’m an inch away from death!”

How long did the police officers laugh at you? I would pay good money to hear you explain this to your parents.

Reevaluate your social lives.



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