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University Of South Carolina Students Start Petition Asking Governor To Change Road Name To “Harambe Boulevard”

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As I type this, I can feel the hatred steaming off jealous hater/co-worker Dan Regester. He’s one of those “Waaah the Harambe meme is played out waaaahh I worship the cock” types. He just doesn’t get it. A lot of people don’t get it.

If you’re like Dan, then get the fuck out of here. Exit this article and reevaluate your entire life. What you fail to comprehend is that Harambe is much more than a passing meme. Harambe has transcended meme status and risen to God status. May He have mercy on your blasphemous soul.

In the spirit of Him, a group of animal rights-conscious students from the University of South Carolina started a petition asking Governor Nikki Haley to rename Wilson Boulevard, located in Blythewood, South Carolina, to Harambe Boulevard.

In recent events of Harambe the gorilla passing away, I believe this road name should be changed to honor him and all the lives he has changed for the better. The road name to be changed is Wilson Boulevard located in Blythewood, SC. The new name should be Harambe Boulevard.

If you want to contact anyone about this petition, contact: Clayton Sizemore, William Beacham, Joss Kim, Andrew Rosinski and Noah Miller.

Please. Take the time out of your busy schedules to sign the petition HERE. It is more than a worthy cause, and it will only take a moment of your time.

At the time of publishing, the petition stood at a mere 105 supporters. Let’s change that.

I don’t know who this Wilson is or why he’s worthy of having a stretch of pothole-covered pavement named after him (SC has some of the worst roads you’ll ever have the pleasure of destroying your suspension on). But I guarantee he was a piece of shit. This is South Carolina we’re talking about. Every building, landmark, monument, and street in the entire state is named after a racist old fuck. Pretty sure it’s a law that you had to own at least 10 humans to have anything named after you down there. *Braces self for flood of emails pointing out Wilson was a war hero who saved a litter of puppies from a burning building*

But you know who wasn’t a racist? Harambe. Change the name of the street. Change the culture of systemic racism in the American south. Change the world.

Whip your dicks the fuck out for Harambe and keep them out until the street name is changed. Harambe be with you.

Be sure to pick up our new Harambe 2016 and Rowdy Harambe t-shirts:

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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