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Kyle French, a redshirt junior and the starting kicker for the Wisconsin Badgers for the past two seasons, has been asked to forgo his senior season in lieu of a ragtag trio of replacements. French posted the following status to his Facebook page on Thursday night:
“I want to personally thank everyone who has supported me throughout my career in football. The coaches have asked me to forgo my senior season and focus on my career outside of football after this season… It has been a great ride, a time I’ll never forget and I’m excited for what is to come.”
Thank God he’s being dismissed, because Kyle French was God Eiffel. GET IT? GET IT? HAHAHA *Explosively shit my pants*
Who are the rap scoundrels replacing the abysmal French, who was a whopping 18 for 29 on his college career? I’ll break it down for you.
1. Kickoffs: Kickoffs are now going to be handled full time by freshman Andrew Endicott. Fucking freshman.
2. Extra points/short field goals: These tasks are entrusted in sophomore Jack Russell, who is a whopping 0 for 3 for field goals in his UW career. Kyle French may be God Eiffel, but Jack Russell is terrierable. OLOLOLLOLOLOLOL
3. Long field goals: Long field goals are going to be handled by none other than All-Big Ten linebacker Chris Borland. Chris Borland is 0 for 0 in his college career and a perfect 2 for 2 on the practice field. High hopes abound!
Keep an eye out for the Wisconsin special teams this weekend as they face off against Illinois. It’s sure to be a spectacle.
[via Journal Sentinel]
Image via 247 Sports