NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

If Your School Doesn’t Have End Zone Cabanas Can You Even Be Considered An Elite College Football Program?

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

Screen Shot 2017-01-25 at 1.30.06 PM

Yes. Yes you can be. In fact, I think Nick Saban would personally burn these to the ground and have the entire Alabama football marketing team put down behind Bryant–Denny Stadium for tainting his precious field with this gimmicky seating concept. But that tiny man cracks maybe half a smile a year and hates anything that can cause the slightest amount of enjoyment other than winning games. So he’s clearly not the demographic for a strange idea like bringing a luxurious poolside cabana — minus the pool — to the gridiron.

However, for my alma mater and the Florida university “where tradition starts now,” it’s a perfect distraction from your offense being one of the most inept in the country despite having an “Oregon guy” at the helm. I mean look at these mofos.

All for the low, low price of $22,000, you and 11 of your closest friends get a perfect spot to drink away a season of McKenzie Milton interceptions and 15 second three-and-outs that give the Knights defense no chance to catch their breath. Where do I sign?

Forget football. Between this and the fucking beach we already have in Bright House Networks Stadium, I’m all in on just installing the missing water slides and turning this into a second Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon location.

Maybe we’d finally be able to fill the stadium if we targeted poor urban families who were just itching to slip on the water wings and pee on themselves in a lazy river.

Charge on.

Image via Twitter

Email this to a friend

Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

12 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed