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UCF Accidentally Assigned Incoming Freshmen To Live In Bathrooms And Closets, Should Be Put On Probation For Hazing

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Universities hate hazing, right? My freshman year, I was required to sit through an hour-long lecture with my pledge class about why hazing is bad. The speaker told us a lot of trivial details that I’ve long since forgotten. However, I do remember that if there is one group of people on campus who are against anything that may be considered inconveniencing or harmful to freshman, it’s the university itself.

So, with that said, what the fuck is going on here?

From Knight News:

“I kept seeing everyone posting on the UCF Class of 2018 Facebook page about roommates and assignments, and I had my community with room number and building, but no roommates,” Ashlyn TenBieg, an incoming freshman planning to major in both Business and Event Management, said.

TenBieg decided to call UCF housing on Friday and figure out exactly why she didn’t appear to have any roommates for this fall. She got transferred around until she got a woman who told her some startling news.

“[She] told me that they mistakenly placed me in a bathroom and that I will get a new assignment,” TenBieg said.

Come on, UCF. If you’re going to talk the talk, you better walk the fucking walk. If I can’t make freshmen live in bathrooms, neither can you!

They weren’t done there, though. Some incoming asshole was assigned to a closet.

Schickman, an industrial engineering major, already knew his desired roommate. The two were talking constantly about their future at UCF when they noticed their rooming assignment changing almost weekly.

Their room had changed floors and buildings twice before their parents got involved.

“Both of us were starting to get a little bit annoyed and confused so his parents called the school and asked why it kept changing,” Schickman said. “They said they accidentally placed us in a closet.”

Of course, the university took a page right out of the fraternity playbook and played dumb.

Courtney Gilmartin, UCF spokeswoman, said that housing didn’t know anything about these students getting placed irregularly for the fall term, but said that one unnamed student did have a problem getting placed in the summer term and ended up in a room that didn’t exist.

Whatever you say, Courtney.

Sure, it may have actually been nothing more than a computer glitch, but it’s a lot more fun to accuse the university of intentional, malicious activity when there is no actual evidence of such things occurring.

Making false and overblown accusations is what university officials do best, so it feels good to be on the other side of it for once.

I’m assuming that in a case like this, the entire university would be put on interim suspension, pending the results of a shoddy investigation. At least, that’s usually the standard protocol.

[via Knight News]

Image via University of Central Florida

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Bogey Wells

Bogey Wells is a Senior Freelance Writer for TFM News and a former summer pledge intern at TFMHQ. His Spotify playlists are pure garbage. Email:

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