NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

U.S. Forest Service Claims Chico State PIKE Brutally Murdered 32 Innocent Trees

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

Screen Shot 2017-05-18 at 4.25.15 PM

The U.S. Forest Service Law Enforcement — which is apparently a real thing — filed a criminal complaint against Chico State PIKE for cutting down approximately 32 promising, young, vibrant trees in cold sap at the Deer Creek Trailhead camping grounds in Lassen National Forest. The complaint dates back to the weekend of April 21 when Forest Service officials claim PIKE was holding an initiation ceremony for pledges and also includes one accusation of firearm possession.

PIKE has released their own statement regarding the bizarre, alleged incident.

The Lambda Psi Chapter of the Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity denies the accusations of vandalism at a national forest. The Chapter has filed a police report regarding the individual making these claims. Additionally, we are cooperating with authorities in their investigation. We have concerns for the safety of our members after receiving threats against Chapter following this accusation and have notified the local police regarding these threats.

The fraternity and chapter president are scheduled to appear in court to defend themselves June 26.

Obviously, I’m not too familiar with the U.S. Forest Service, but if they’re anything like the Fish and Wildlife commission they are not a group to be fucked with. Get snagged catching one too many trout and those bastards won’t sleep until you’re on the verge of bankruptcy. If throwing an untagged doe into the back of your truck bed can run you the same price as raising an unwanted, cleft lipped orphan through his formative years, imagine the penalty for clearing out a respectable plot of land of all vegetation.

Wouldn’t surprise me if these tree people were the type to take the law into their own hands. Perhaps PIKE should be so lucky that this is going to a judge.

[via KRCR TV]

Image via Shutterstock

Email this to a friend

Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

44 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed