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As much as Americans like to think Olympic medal counts and dominating the world in sports like basketball makes us superior to other countries, the truth is that in terms of competitions, the upcoming one between a team from Cal-Berkeley and China’s TianJin University is probably more indicative of future national dominance than any pure athletic endeavor. But, man, it’s sort of sad to admit, because…because it’s in fucking StarCraft.
Next Monday, the Collegiate Starleague, the largest collegiate esports organization in the world, is pitting the best Chinese and American StarCraft 2 sides against one another. They’re calling it “USA vs. China: The Collegiate Showdown.”
This is so geed that it physically pains me. Right in the balls. But I’ll be damned if I won’t be rooting my ass off for America. Why? Because who gives a shit about being better at sports than China? We need to be better at PC strategy games like StarCraft. When our robot and drone armies clash with China’s, it’s not going to matter that LeBron James and Kevin Durant can drag their sacks across the collective Chinese population at will on the way up to the rim. What’s going to matter is that our nerdy little gamers micromanage futuristic armies better than their Chinese counterparts. I’ve never personally played StarCraft, but I’m pretty sick at the Total War series (war and history are frat, you guys), so I’m ready to do my part for America when the time comes.
Sure, this might be insanely GDI, but an American GDI is still better than a Chinese anything. Go kick some Chinese ass in StarCraft, America. Otherwise, I’m going to have nightmares about waking up to a robot with a gold star on its chest pointing a gun in my face and forcing me into slave labor.
You can tailgate a StarCraft competition, right? I’m going to need to drink a lot to forget that I’m rooting for someone in, or even giving a shit about, StarCraft.
[via The Daily Dot]