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Two Pitchers For The 10th Ranked Florida Gators Face Felony Charges For Climbing A Crane

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Two pitchers from the University of Florida’s baseball team, currently ranked tenth in the nation, were arrested last night and are being charged with felony trespassing charges. That sounds pretty serious. What did they do, break into Area 51? Hop the fence at the White House? Felony trespassing charges have to mean something big time like that, right?

Police say sophomores A.J. Puk and Kirby Snead climbed a crane inside a marked construction area without proper authorization. If convicted, this crime is punishable by up to five years in prison.

Just absolutely egregious. I mean to climb a heavy duty piece of machinery in a clearly marked area of construction is downright diabolical. Five years just doesn’t seem like enough.

What’s that? You think I’m being a tad overdramatic? No, I swear it has nothing to do with Puk being the Gators ace and Snead being a valuable bullpen arm. Sure, I guess it makes UCF’s road to Omaha and the College World Series that much easier with those two arms out for regionals, but I don’t see the validity of your point. And for you to question my journalistic integrity and accuse me of having ulterior motives is grossly insulting and I simply won’t stand for my character to be attacked in such a manner.

Puk and Snead are not only a danger to society, but they threaten every moral fiber of humanity itself. Lock these two maniacs up and throw away the key. At least until the season is over.

[via Deadspin]

Image via YouTube

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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