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Twitter Is About To Change Again, And You’re Going To Hate It

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“If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Unless, of course, it’s a social media site. Fix unbroken things all fucking day with that shit.”
-Mark Twain (probably)

Move over Facebook, we’ve got a new randomly updating kingpin of the social media world. My day began normally enough, signing into Twitter to check on the massive influx of trolls who harass my sexuality on a daily basis, but what I saw when I clicked that “Sign In” button blew my mind.

Check out the new and “improved” Twitter, that just so happens to look almost identical to the Facebook timeline:

Screen Shot 2014-02-26 at 11.54.29 AM

The biggest question I have here is “Why?” While Facebook has gone through more reconstructions than the government of a third world country, Twitter has been fairly consistent through the years. Sure, they’re trying to hustle for the big bucks with their recent IPO, but this new format in no way optimizes their money-making abilities. All it really does is confuse the hell out of the common user, making us think we signed into the wrong website. Next thing you know, they’ll start letting people “like” pages like Dank Swag Apparel and have an exclusive tool that allows you to post giant galleries of ugly baby photos. I guess we’ll all just have to deal.

Here are a few more pictures of what your updated Twitter profile will look like. So far, the Newsfeed and Mentions sections haven’t changed, but who knows what kind of bastardization Twitter has planned for those in the future.

Screen Shot 2014-02-26 at 12.01.13 PMScreen Shot 2014-02-26 at 12.03.27 PMScreen Shot 2014-02-26 at 12.05.11 PM

I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to hear everybody bitching about this one…and then completely forgetting about the change a week or two later.

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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