Fictional TV Characters Who Would Kill It At Their High School Reunion

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ryan high school reunion television

Beginning Of Season 4 Ryan Howard, The Office

“How’s my favorite branch doing?”

Early S4 Ryan Howard’s rise is what you would call “meteoric.” Office temp to vice president of sales? Now that is what you want to tell all the girls that rejected your promposal. You’d show up with your $200 haircut telling everyone about your own office in a New York high rise and your plan to revolutionize the paper business (of course, before the whole fraud thing). All while pretending to not know what a “wunderkind” is.

Heisenberg, Breaking Bad

I’m not talking Walter White, Mr. Walk Through A Grocery Store Naked. I’m talking the one who knocks, the one who killed Gus Fring, the man that is the danger. You better tread lightly if you go ahead and ask what he’s doing now.

Picture this: you’re at your reunion and see a sort of familiar guy walking around with his awful wife. You can’t put a name to his face, but suddenly you remember you were lab partners. You go and ask how he is; it’s been a while. He answers with, “say my name.” You’re shaking. You look down and his name tag says “Heisenberg.”

Don Draper, Mad Men

“I was an awkward-looking kid, now I’m extremely handsome, I went to war and now my initials are on the side of a skyscraper on Madison Avenue in New York City.” Hide your secretaries. Don Draper would cause a flood in the gymnasium at his high school reunion. He’d most likely just sit by the bar, lit cigarette constantly in his hand, waiting for women to come to him. And when he makes his choice, he takes her to his hotel and sends his wife home in a cab. Home in the morning just in time for eggs, all while perfecting his advertising pitch to Chevrolet.

Daryl Dixon, Walking Dead

No question Daryl would show up to his high school reunion in a dirty tank top with his crossbow draped over his shoulder. Hasn’t showered in a couple days, and hair as greasy as ever, but still looks good. The man who has set the record for killing zombies and making women blush at the same time. He’d most likely sit against a locker, lighting matches and putting them out with his fingers. A man of mystery. What is he up to? Am I too afraid to ask, or too afraid to be stared through like a window? I just hope he does something different with his hair before he goes.

Olivia Benson, Law and Order: SVU

Olivia is probably one of the best human beings to ever grace the small screen. Olivia is a saint with some sass. When she walks in, she is given the space and respect normally reserved for the Pope. The crowd clears a path. Men are in awe, and women want to be her. She’s power, she’s grace, she can bust you for rape you thought you got away with. The best detective New York has ever seen, she will most likely have a great time seeing old friends and then do her best white woman dance in her lady suit.

Eleven, Stranger Things

Stay out of her way or she’ll throw you against a wall with her brain. Give her attitude or pick on her friends? She’ll make you piss yourself. If she doesn’t like the song that’s on, she can make the DJ change it. Pour herself some punch from across the room, maybe dump it on you just because fuck you and she can. Leather jacket, slicked back hair. Bitchin’.

Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones

Though Tyrion is a Lannister, he is hated by his family (except Jaime) because he is a dwarf. But now Tyrion is the most powerful Lannister in the world. He’s friends with a woman who owns dragons and is backed by one of the most feared armies in the world: the Dothraki. No doubt Tyrion would arrive by climbing off a dragon and strolling into the auditorium.

“Oh, you used to call me a dwarf and beat me up? Do you like fire? My friends do. If you don’t like fire, don’t worry; my Dothraki friend can just cut your head off. But hey, great to see you!”

He wouldn’t stay, of course; just pass through to make the point that he can have everyone killed and walk out. No biggie.

Image via YouTube

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Grill Master Flex

Just your run of the mill go to barbecue guy

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