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Trump: Waterboarding Is Weak Sauce, It’s Time To Step Up Our Torture Game

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The Don dropped yet another piping hot take on America when he recently said that we should quit pussy-footing around with that candy-ass water-boarding bullshit and really lay into the terrorists with our torture methods. When soft politicians told him that he would be “breaking the rules set forth by the Geneva Convention” or “stooping to the terrorists’ level,” Trump conceded that he wouldn’t force generals to break any laws.

Then, on Sunday, Trump concluded that he would fight to get those laws changed to include laxer torture restrictions.


Donald Trump said Sunday that he favored changing U.S. military and international laws against torture and waterboarding that ISIS ignores.

“I would like to strengthen the laws so that we can better compete” with the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, Trump said in an interview that aired Sunday on CBS TV’s “Face the Nation.”

Citing ISIS’ beheadings of U.S. prisoners and other brutal tactics, Trump said, “We have to play the game the way they’re playing the game. You’re not going to win if we’re soft and they’re — they have no rules.”

On waterboarding, Trump said that the law should be changed “at a minimum to allow that.” Waterboarding was one of the “enhanced interrogation techniques” previously used by the United States.

Donald is a man of competition. He can’t be beat in anything, whether that be business, dick size, or torture. And right now, ISIS is totally winning the torture game. Not in MY America.

Waterboarding is for pledges, not terrorists. I say we go Medieval on those motherfuckers.

Strap Abdul to a chair, pry his eyes open with meat hooks, and force him to watch every season of “Girls” on repeat. Then, herd out a pack of the youngest, sexiest goats the States have to offer, and let them just stand there, eating hay and baahh-ing, teasing him while he’s strapped in. Finally, finish off the torture sesh by having someone whisper the word “moist” in his ear over and over again.

That’ll show ’em.


Image via YouTube

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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