Townie Attacks Two People With Machete On University Of Arkansas Campus

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Ashley Kyle Pettey, a 36-year-old townie in Fayetteville, is being charged with first and second-degree battery and aggravated assault after attacking and injuring two people at the University of Arkansas. He set up shop and was camping in a wooded area east of Razorback Road and south of Martin Luther King Boulevard, because nothing says the great outdoors quite like a college campus.

After being confronted by two individuals at around 7:15 Thursday night to move his homeless ass somewhere else, Pettey pulled out a machete with an 11 inch blade and hit both victims in the arm and neck leaving one victim in critical condition.

From WREG:

One person needed stitches in his arm and neck while the other had to have stitches to prevent him bleeding to death. Pettey had an injury to his eye. He was taken to a hospital and has since been arrested. The attack happened in the same area as a homicide earlier this year.

Perfect example of why you should never fuck with anyone that’s still hanging around a college town over the age of twenty-five. They have nothing to lose. It’s better to just let them be. The more minimal the interaction with these winners, the better. You just never know which ones are loose cannons that will try to hack your head off at the drop of a dime. Factor in the guy was clearly down on his luck, and has had a chip on his shoulder since birth when his parents cruelly graced him with the ever so masculine name, Ashley, and this had disaster written all over it.

[via WREG]

Image via Youtube

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Video Guy for Grandex Media. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to

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