Ah, the end of the fall semester: when everything winds down and we all head home for the holidays to the ol’ fapping grounds. Or to our grandparents’ houses, which then become the new fapping grounds. You gotta do what you gotta do.
So much to do, so little time. Studying for finals, writing term papers, cherishing your last few hours with the frat iguana: these tasks and more must be balanced with our obligatory final days of binge fratting before a month at home. It’s a ridiculous transition. One weekend you’re three shots away from convincing your slam to let you suck a fart out of her b-hole, the next you’re staying up until 4am playing the board game Risk, eating Totino’s pizza rolls, and fruitlessly attempting to get Dorn to respond to your Snapchats.
One of the hardest adjustments us #fratstars must make around this time is finding ways to continually frat once we leave the debauchery-filled boundaries of our universities for winter break. I have a lot of experience doing this considering I spend most of my time outside of the boundaries of my online university. That’s probably only because the boundaries of my university are my computer, though, and I’m (sadly) not Tron, so I don’t spend any time in there (except that one time I had that one-night stand with my CD tray). Either way, I have experience in this situation, and, thankfully for you guys, I’m way frat and can teach you everything you need to know.
Christmas is one of the only times all year when almost all fraternity men are back home. This means there are many confused bro-skis out there who are just going to be derping around their childhood homes Helen Keller-style with no idea how to keep up their frattitude on this festive occasion. This one’s for you, derps: here are 20 Total Frat Christmas Moves. Take notes.