More like the eight frattest cities in America, amiright!?!?! You know, because money? Frat?…Same? Whatever. A more apt title for Wall Street Cheat Sheet’s list, and this news story, would have been “8 American Municipalities With the Wealthiest Residents” since none of the places listed have a population over 3,000. Wall Street Cheat Sheet determined the list based on findings by Bloomberg. Here’s the full explanation:
Bloomberg scoured the country recently to find the cities with the top 5 percent of earners and came up with a list of locations ranging from Texas to New York, breaking down the income of the top 5 percent of earners in each place. These locations are the polar opposite of places like Detroit, which recently filed for bankruptcy — these Meccas of the super wealthy are tucked away with tiny populations of the country’s elite.
Ha, Detroit, so poor. I know a girl from Detroit, she tries to act like she’s from a suburb and that she’s actually well off, but it’s pretty obvious she comes from a family of hobos, Detroit style, just like JParks. That’s why he’s currently gold digging on a sassy little JAP in Florida. #PrayForParks
Anyway, without further ado, here’s the list.
8. Westlake, Texas
Top 5% Income Avg: $2,041,000
7. Westover Hills, Texas
Top 5% Income Avg: $2,045,000
6. Chevy Chase Village, Maryland
Top 5% Income Avg: $2,090,300
5. Jupiter Island, Florida
Top 5% Income Avg: $2,090,6000
4. Cove Neck, New York
Top 5% Income Avg: $2,383,000
3. Chenequa, Wisconsin
Top 5% Income Avg: $2,498,000
2. Mill Neck, New York
Top 5% Income Avg: $2,511,000
1. Huntleigh, Missouri
Top 5% Income Avg: $2,700,000
Now, for some fun facts about these super rich municipalities.
– Westlake, Texas is a suburb of Austin and home to the Total Frat Move world headquarters. When we got this company going we all agreed we needed to set up shop somewhere that was FaF. We didn’t want our Range Rovers to stand out amongst poors.
– The wealthiest resident of Westlake, Texas is Peaco the Peacock, TFM’s office bird. He made his money off a semi-successful modeling career and the cocaine trade.
– Whoops, I actually confused my Westlakes. The Westlake, Texas this list is referring to is near Ft. Worth. That said, Austin’s Westlake is still incredibly affluent, which is why I got confused. Also, the Peaco thing is true.
– Jupiter Island, Florida is home to Tiger Woods.
– Huntleigh, Missouri is a suburb of St. Louis, and is home to several families of the Anheuser-Busch fortune, including the Busches themselves.
– August A. Busch IV, perhaps one of the worst heirs in the history of American business, first attended the University of Arizona but
was super rich, got all the beer he wanted for free, and raged balls at the UA, killed a waitress, and had his family cover it up withdrew and later received his bachelors as well as an MBA from Saint Louis University.
– It’s never a good idea to send a spoiled heir with unlimited funds that came from a beer fortune to an Arizona school. Ever. This is why:
While attending the University of Arizona, Busch was in auto accident that resulted in the death of his passenger, 21-year old Michele Frederick, a local waitress. According to witnesses, Busch had left a bar early one morning with Frederick. The vehicle wrecked at a 25mph curve known for accidents. The car went airborne, flipped, and Frederick flew through the sunroof and was probably killed instantly when the car rolled over her. Busch left the car at scene of the accident without informing anyone. When police arrived on the scene hours later they found empty Bud Light cans scattered in and around the car, along with August Busch IV’s drivers license. Police found Busch at his Tucson townhouse 4 miles (6 km) away, with blood on his body, a sawed-off shotgun, and in a dazed condition exhibiting signs of amnesia. After a lengthy investigation by Tucson police, Busch wasn’t charged with any wrongdoing, due to lack of evidence. As a normal procedure blood and urine samples were taken from Busch when he was taken into custody hours after the accident. The samples would have confirmed if he had been drinking and how much at the time of the accident. However the hospital “lost” the urine sample, and the blood sample had been run through a centrifuge rendering it useless. No one in the hospital staff was able to explain what happened to the samples. Police investigator Ron Benson said that in all his career he had never before seen samples mishandled by hospital staff. Unable to find any other evidence of substantial wrongdoing (other than leaving the scene of an accident), the police reported they saw no legal option but to drop the case. Deputy Ron Benson, in charge of the investigation, said years later that “I didn’t feel good about [dropping the case]. My gut told me this guy was drunk and killed this girl and I couldn’t do my best for her because the [blood and urine] evidence just disappeared.” The Frederick family probably reached a secret settlement of an undisclosed sum with Busch attorneys, according to Busch family biographer William Knoedelseder. August IV’s mother, Susie Busch, said in a newspaper column that her son had not been treated justly, saying that “there is no just treatment for families with a name and money.”
Uh…It’s a TFM?
– August Busch had a girlfriend die in his Huntleigh home. Thankfully that death was a little less sketchy.
27-year-old Adrienne Nicole Martin was found dead at his 6,300-square-foot home with 16 rooms set on 4 1/2 wooded acres in the 2800 Block of South Lindbergh Boulevard in Huntleigh, Missouri after household employee Michael Jung called 9-1-1 at 1:15 p.m. The call was reported to have been 42 minutes after a problem was discovered. Busch’s attorney Art Margulis denied that anything suspicious occurred and described the death as “tragic and untimely”. Busch was divorced in 2009 and was in the house at the time. The matter was investigated by Frontenac, Missouri police rather than Huntleigh although Frontenac police chief Thomas Becker maintained early on there was “no public safety concern regarding the case.”
The incident which occurred on a Sunday was not reported in the media until the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported it four days later on a Thursday. Martin, a former Hooters waitress, was a divorced mother of one and is reported to have been dating Busch for a year.
God, I love the Busches. I really do. That’s not sarcasm. But this is sort of turning into an “American Icons: Auggie Busch IV,” so I should stop. Anyway, there’s your top 8. Discuss.
[via Wall Street Cheat Sheet]