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Top 5 Frattest Jobs For Summer 2017

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The difference between those who are frat and those who are simply privileged and upper class is that the fratty are men of class and character. So while the rich might just head to Italy or Vegas for the summer, the fratty are gearing up to keep their heads down and pay their dues. Not all summer jobs are created equal, and there are definitely a few where your time will be much better spent building your future.

These are the five frattest summer jobs for 2017.

1. Golf course caddie

Find the best course in your area and get hired as a caddie.

Caddying is a traditional and time-honored rite of passage for the country club set. And for social climbers, caddying is a great way to breathe the same air as some of the wealthiest and most successful people in your region. If you pick the right course, you could be spending a couple hours with an NBA player, a billionaire, and celebrity all on the same day. Even though they won’t remember your name. You can work on your skills, get stuffed with stacks of higher bills, learn the intricacies of the game, and pull an impressive farmer’s tan. Plus, caddying is often the only way to get a tee time at some of these places. Also $40 an hour to walk around the golf course? Sold.

2. “Interning” at your dad’s law firm

Okay, so this might not seem like an actual job. This entry is very much reserved for those high achievers out there that are totally fine with getting guaranteed partner track and an extra letter on the firm’s logo without having to bust their asses for it. But hanging around with the senior partners and drinking scotch out of desk drawers could still be a very productive use of your summer. And getting tons of privileges for nothing other than nepotism is undeniably frat.

For those of you wanting to get into the law game who weren’t blessed with an in, interning at a good law firm is absolutely crucial for your undergrad years. Just be prepared to kiss a lot of ass. Much less frat.

3. Junior sales/lot associate at a luxury dealership

Working the sales floor at a car dealership is great way to learn the inside-outs of getting people to buy things they don’t need and can’t afford. Plus, being around really high end, expensive cars puts you in contact with classy clientele and most likely in a sweet, branded microfiber golf polo.

Go find the highest value car dealership in your area. Nothing less than Mercedes, Audi, or BMW. If you live in the right city, you might be able to track down a Gran Turismo class dealership or exotic importer. While the higher you climb on the automotive totem pole the less chance you will have to do any sales (nobody’s going to let a 19-year-old sell a Ferrari), as a lot helper, you’ll still find yourself with more than a couple chances to get behind the wheel (if only for a second) of a beastly super car with a lot more dignity and access to AC than a valet.

4. Disney World

The Disney company has this thing called the “College Program” for kids in universities where you basically get to go work in their parks for the summer or one academic term. Now, standing outside for hours in Fantasyland wearing a woolen tunic on a sweltering Florida day doesn’t sound that appealing, but there are serious benefits. When you go, you live in a special Disney housing complex with hundreds of kids your age from ALL OVER THE WORLD. The girls are gorgeous, they all speak English, and since the government literally forces them to leave the country after a certain time, nobody is afraid of casual hookups. They’re there to meet Americans, and to party.

Best part? Since it’s Disney, 3/4 of the other guys in the program are gay, and the other 1/4 are in relationships, religious, or really weird. As a frat guy at Disney, you could be the Mufasa of a whole harem of beautiful foreign girls. Just bone up on your Disney karaoke and find your way into “Happy Mondays.” The rest will take care of itself.

5. Some terrible fast food job (but with your best friend)

This might seem confusing, because slaving away in some sweaty burger kitchen or trying to keep a straight face and refrain from smashing hipsters’ laptops with a tire iron at a Starbucks is the definitive opposite of frat. But if you get a shitty job with your best friend, the two of you are going to have the greatest summer of your lives. The amount of bullshitting, playing jokes on the boss, and generally flipping the bird at the establishment you are going to do will make it all worth it.

And isn’t spending more time goofing off with your best friends while being subjected to dirty, degrading, and humiliating work the most frat thing of all?

Image via Shutterstock

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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