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It’s not hyperbole to say that Tom Brady is better than you at everything in life. Better winner. Better husband. Better dad. The list is never-ending. Dude is a straight up a cyborg who’s been put on this earth to be #perfect.
Now, you might be saying, “But Max, the TB12 Method doesn’t leave any room for beer. Surely I’m better at drinking beer than Tom Brady.” While it’s a good theory, you’d be dead wrong. TB12 can make alcohol vanish faster than Jesus. That’s how the story went, right? Been a while since I dusted off the ol’ Bible.
One gulp? The rumors have been swirling for years of Tom Brady’s beer chugging abilities, but I thought it was the kind of stuff you hear from Grandpa when he goes off on another dementia-driven rant about back in his day. The tales from teammates are legendary.
Brady’s beer-chugging prowess is well documented among some of his former teammates, especially those who were at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que in Rochester, New York, when the Patriots were snowed in and had to stay overnight after a game against the Bills.
Fellow quarterback Brian Hoyer told the story as part of an ESPN.com compilation of Brady tales celebrating Brady’s 40th birthday.
Said Hoyer: “We played up at Buffalo and we couldn’t fly back into Boston because the weather was so bad, so we had to stay the night in Rochester. We drove there, and we all decided we’d go out to dinner together. Tom being who he was, he usually couldn’t come to a team event like that. We might be at Capital Grille and he is sneaking in the back door and then people realize he’s there and he has to leave. But this was impromptu at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que in Rochester. The whole team is there.
“And it turns into a beer-chugging contest. You have linemen, Julian Edelman, they all think they are going to win. Then someone says, ‘I heard Tom is really great at chugging a beer.’ We don’t usually get to experience him like this, but we finally coax him into doing it. He does it, and let me tell you, you couldn’t have poured out the beer faster into a glass.
“It was unbelievable,” Hoyer continued. “And he slams the mug on the table and puts both fists in the air. He walks away with a look on his face that said, ‘You really thought you were going to beat me on this?’ The place went nuts.”
Welp, we just saw first hand that all the stories are true. Tom Brady can make beer fly down his throat at an absolutely ferocious pace.
Tom Brady: Winner of Super Bowls, purveyor of
snake oil electrolytes, husband to the GOAT model, and the greatest beer chugger these eyes have ever seen. .