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Tim Howard Named Secretary Of Defense On Wikipedia

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Timsanity is officially in!

Although Team USA lost a heartbreaker against Belgium yesterday, Tim Howard was a total boss in the net with 16 saves–the most in a World Cup match in more than 50 years.

For his heroism and all around American badassery, Tim Howard was honored on Wikipedia as the new Secretary of Defense of the United States.

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Unfortunately, the hilarious page was quickly edited back to incumbent secretary, Chuck Hagel, who last time I checked had ZERO saves in any World Cup.

Some even tried to take Howardmania a step further, petitioning to change Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport to Tim Howard National Airport. While I commend Howard’s amazing performance, changing the airport’s name from The Gipper to the best player on America’s fifth to tenth favorite sport seems a little extreme.

So, while we await word from the White House on whether July 4th is now named Tim Howard day, we can wash away the taste of the USA’s loss with these amazing photos of #ThingsTimHowardCouldSave.

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[via CBS Sports]

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Jordan Gershowitz

Jordan is a writer living in a small yet overpriced apartment in NYC. He can always be found in his favorite pair of topsiders, even though he doesn't own a yacht (yet). He may not always be right, but he's never wrong and he also knows that finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything. He could eat cereal for every meal, but doesn't...because you know...carbs. For angry tweets about the state of IU basketball follow him @jordangersh

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