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As we all know, epic feats of drinking and debauchery have a way of becoming warped and overstated as they make their way around the grapevine. You could pop some Adderall and kill two bottles of scotch on a bender, and then get a phone call from a pledge brother a few days later asking if you really killed two eight balls and a hooker. Regardless of exaggeration, when it comes to tales of great absurdity, one thing normally holds true: where there is smoke, there is fire.
Hall of Fame third baseman Wade Boggs developed a reputation as a badass American drinking machine during his career, but no story carries more weight than one of a serious Miller Lite marathon. Legend says Boggs started drinking in the Yankee clubhouse preparing to make a road trip, and didn’t stop until the team had made their way cross-country to the West Coast—polishing off 64 cold ones. According to alleged sources, he sucked down Miller Lite exclusively, so the fact that he hasn’t ended up in one of their commercials is almost as amazing as the fact that he hasn’t ended up in the ER with alcohol poisoning. Everyone says the same thing, “64 beers…that’s fucking impossible.” Maybe for mere mortals, but Boggs’ ex-teammates have time and again confirmed that he could drink like nothing they’d ever seen, and that this wasn’t a one time occurrence.
Obviously it wouldn’t be the greatest PR move, even for a retired athlete, to confirm a drinking binge of this magnitude. However, the only thing Boggs denies is the number 64:
“No it’s not true. It wasn’t 64.” We all know you weren’t counting, Wade. You were too blackout. When it comes to counting beers you’ve crushed, the same rule applies as to number of women you’ve slammed: If you pass 30 and can still keep track, you’re a fucking weirdo.