======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
This Thursday, we reminisce with classic freak-outs that resulted in both people, and inanimate objects, being brutally verbally assaulted. It’s important to remember that when something goes wrong, it is in no way, shape or form, your fault. Shame everyone around you mercilessly. People will forget whatever mishap took place, and become mesmerized by your supreme hazing abilities.
“FUCK IT! WE’LL DO IT LIVE!”
Do not fuck with Bill O’Reilly’s teleprompter. Do not display phrases that don’t make clear-cut sense. He is like a dormant volcano, ready to spew molten hot hatred all over your GDI intern face. “FUCKING THING SUCKS!” Stupid fucking teleprompter.
“GOD DAMNIT! CAN’T EVERYBODY STOP FOR 10 MINUTES?”
“Is that when everybody has to move, when I’m trying to concentrate?” Yes, Chris, let the anger flow. Those fucking ingrates shouldn’t have been walking around, distracting the fucking talent. Monday Night Football would be nothing without you. Destroy them all. “It’s like no ones ever worked on TV here before? Jesus.” Berman looks like Chris Farley in Almost Heroes, flipping shit because he can’t comprehend the alphabet.
“FUCK’S SAKE, MAN, YOU’RE AMATEUR!”
“Ohhhhh gooooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was fuckin’ good because it’s useless now isn’t it?” It would be really, really hard to freak-out harder than Christian Bale on the set of Terminator: Salvation. There are so many classic one-liners here; it’s difficult to choose one. This rant is 10-times more priceless with the American Psycho pictures on display. “Seriously man, you and me, we’re fucking done professionally.”
This weekend, find some time to have a rambling, psychotic meltdown on an unsuspecting person. It will do wonders for your stress level, and it just might make your dick move a little.