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This UConn RA Won’t Let People Cheer Too Loudly For The Basketball Game Tonight, Is The Worst

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The University of Connecticut is playing a basketball game tonight. Against Kentucky. For the championship. Even to the casual sports fan, it’s pretty important.

Meet Derek. Derek is an RA at UConn. He is not a casual sports fan. Far from it, actually. Derek is a douche. He is the douche who asks the cashier at the late-night food spot if the restaurant has a gluten-free menu, and he scoffs when they say no. He is the douche who sits at a coffee shop and talks about global economic problems as if he has all the answers. He is the douche who is a resident assistant at a school that is lucky enough to play basketball this late in the season. He is the douche who describes cheering for his school’s basketball team as “cheering for laundry.”

Here is the email Derek sent out to his floor tonight, warning everyone that he will not treat this special night different from any other.

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Derek is a terrible human being. Terrible human beings should be shamed for being themselves. If you are a student at UConn–or even at a neighboring school–I implore you to watch this game on Derek’s floor tonight, and to cheer your hearts out. Turn Derek into a fan. He needs it more than he knows.

[via Twitter]

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KenLay is a contributing writer for TotalFratMove. His former start-up company tanked so now he writes articles for you brats to pay back the government.

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