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This Real, Declassified Al Qaeda Job Application Is The Best Thing Ever

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Hey seniors, is the overbearing stress of finding a job really bumming you out? Are you submitting a lot of job applications to websites with automated responses like, “If we like what we see, we’ll get back to you”?

One quirky little start-up in the mountains of Afghanistan is looking for talented, hard-working employees to help continue the growth and maturation of its organization. It’s called Al Qaeda, and recently declassified documents collected during SEAL Team Six’s raid on Osama Bin Laden’s compound in Pakistan have provided us with the greatest job application questionnaire ever, created by the HR Department at Al Qaeda HQ:

Take a few moments out of today and fill out the application. Here it is in full, courtesy of Gawker:

Click images to enlarge.

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This. Is. Gold. Some personal favorites:

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I’ll be honest. ISIS would probably be a more fun place to work. Kabul’s bar scene is weak at best, and it’s standard of living ranking for yuppies is hardly desirable.

Here is your obligatory video reminder of what the job description entails:

If interested, contact Mohammad via email at

[via Gawker]

Image via YouTube

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