NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

This Futuristic Mercedes Self-Driving Concept Car Could Be The Downfall Of Humanity

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

Screen Shot 2016-06-27 at 1.47.47 PM

I mean look at that stupid fucking thing. Is that a vehicle or a computer mouse that’s been removed from Robocop’s aerosol-lubricated rectum? This is the future of automobiles? Nothing says sleek and innovative quite like a design that’s been around for the last two decades at Epcot’s Test Track. Real poon-slaying mobile you got yourself, Mercedes. I think I’d be more comfortable getting into one of those single car, mouse trap-themed rollercoasters that a dozen or so people go flying off of to their untimely deaths at the boardwalk every summer than this self-driving, chrome-polished Sybian saddle.

Screen Shot 2016-06-27 at 1.51.30 PM

You just know this guy strokes himself off talking about how he’s cutting his own carbon footprint and doing his part in the world. Kick rocks, you greased up chode. What happens when these things become self-aware and start mowing down pedestrians for Team Machine with the tenacity of a caffeine and angst brimming teenager playing Grand Theft Auto? What then? Remember the last time we let Germans freely experiment with technology? How did that go? The next Blitzkrieg won’t be lead by Panzer Tanks, it’ll be this “groundbreaking” vehicle in the front lines. We need to nip this in the bud while it’s still in the concept stage, not repeat history trusting those Nazi bastards again, and save humanity in the process.

[via Business Insider]

Email this to a friend

Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

14 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed