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Fishing is right up there with golf when it comes to hobbies of the fraternity man, and our slippery, scaly victims are crawling out of the ocean to enact their revenge.
A breed of fish known as the climbing perch is slowly making its way toward Australia from southeast Asia, and one researcher believes it could make it all the way to the continent just in time to fuck up our Aussie friends before they can cast another line.
The little bastards drag themselves across the land with their gills and can survive for days out of water. They even puff out their walking gills to suffocate predators that swallow them before continuing on their terrifying march to retribution.
Just look at this shit:
Fuck me sideways.
It’s just a matter of time before you go to sleep, only to be awoken by the sensation of something flopping around on your stomach. You will awaken to a pair of black, beady eyes staring into your guilty, fish-murdering soul. Before you can cry for help, the climbing perch will jump into your mouth, puff out its gills, and lodge itself in your esophagus until the final, gurgling breath escapes your body.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you..
[via Washington Post]