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We received a screenshot of an email from a gentleman named SperryTheFratypus that tipped us off to a voyeur incident at the University of Maryland. On October 15, a short man wearing “cargo shorts, a short sleeve shirt, red and white shoes,” was caught peeping on a woman showering in the Cumberland Hall dormitory. When she opened the shower curtain to grab something, she saw the perv and screamed. He said sorry and retreated, oversize thigh pockets billowing in the steamy shower air.
Just days before, a woman was showering in the Wicomico Hall dorms when she saw a cell phone with a camera lens peeping over the top of the stall. She didn’t catch a glimpse of what he was wearing, but it’s safe to assume he had an unnecessary amount of pocket space.
INCIDENT: Voyeur Incident (Women’s Bathroom)
OCCURRED: October 9, 2015 at approximately 9:00 p.m.
LOCATION: Wicomico Hall
UMPD CASE #: 2015-44690
On October 13, 2015, at approximately 10:09 a.m., the University of Maryland Police Department responded to Prince Fredrick Hall and met with a female UMD student, who reported a voyeur incident that occurred on October 9, 2015, at approximately 9:00 p.m., inside the women’s bathroom of Wicomico Hall. The student was inside the shower stall when she turned and observed a cell phone with the camera lens, over the top of the shower stall, taking video. The female yelled at the male suspect to leave in which he did. There is no further description of the suspect.
We’ve been saying it for years. Cargo shorts are a dead giveaway that you’re a sexual deviant. Who else needs that much room in their pockets? (Excluding day laborers and PROFESSIONAL photographers – not creepy college kids with iPhone cameras). What are you hiding in there? Judging by the general appearance of people who usually wear cargos, I assume a favorite rock from your collection, a mint condition Magic: The Gathering playing card, some sort of lotion, a half-eaten candy bar, maybe a handful of Legos, and a lock of hair snipped off the girl who sits in front of you in history class that you periodically whip out and rub against your nipple while singing “Mary Had A Little Lamb.”
The suspects have yet to be apprehended, so ladies at UMD, if you see a guy in cargo shorts, steer clear. But you already knew that..
Image via YouTube