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Since the beginning of the school year, my roommate and I have managed to get along without a hitch. This is mostly because we are both a little on the adventurous side, and supportive of each other’s questionable decisions. We’ve had some interesting nights, but the boy she has most recently been talking to has really shaken things up in our little dorm room.
Up until last week, the only poor etiquette displayed by a boy staying in our room was left-behind socks and a small lighter. I’m not really sure how someone forgets to put their socks on, but I guess thanks for the lighter. Leaving stuff behind isn’t uncommon, which is why we weren’t prepared for the disaster that came our way this syllabus week.
Let me give you a little background on Jake. My roommate met him at a top tier fraternity during one of their syllabus week parties, and for the most part, he seemed like an average guy. Nothing special about him really, but he somehow managed to charm my roommate and they started hooking up. By charming her, I mean he told her a bunch of weird shit such as how he wanted to lick gravy off her tits (kinky?). Anyway, she invited him over, and like the good roomie I am, I agreed that I would find somewhere else to stay.
I happily took my drunk self to the room of a guy I had met earlier, and the night seemed to be going well. However, when I checked my phone I saw that I had frantic messages from my suitemate. Upon opening them, I was shocked to discover that she had walked into the bathroom we all shared only to find a strange boy with his dick sitting on the ledge of our sink. With the sink full of a yellow substance that she was not able to clearly identify.
If there’s one thing college has taught me, it’s that drunk guys will pee nearly anywhere if necessary. Key word being “necessary,” implying there isn’t something better around. However, in our tiny dorm room bathroom, the sink is easily two feet from the toilet, leaving me a little confused as to why he couldn’t make it. I headed back to my room to see exactly what was up, and it turns out Jake wasn’t even drunk at all. He had come over and been a complete dick to my roommate. They didn’t even end up hooking up. He simply bitched at her, peed in our sink, and went to bed.
I had previously assumed it was common courtesy to use the appropriate equipment when attending to your bodily functions, especially when you are a guest of the opposite gender, and fully capable of soberly walking to the toilet. But in case you think it’s okay to pee in the sink of a girl you just met, here’s a reminder: Don’t. Be nice to your host, pee in the toilet like you’re supposed to, and if you really feel drawn to the sink, use it to wash your hands..