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The Speech A.J. Hinch Gave To The Houston Astros After Clinching A Playoff Spot Was Every Fraternity President’s Speech To His Chapter Ever

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After clinching the second wildcard spot this afternoon, Houston Astros manager, A.J. Hinch, took center stage and gave his ball club a celebratory speech straight out of every fraternity president’s playbook.

Goosebumps. I feel like I’m back at the house after a great week of recruitment or on the turf fields after an IM championship. Hinch starts out like he’s watched one too many Gordon Bombay speeches over the last few days, in preparation for this moment, only to devolve into f-bombs every other word once the drunk obnoxious brother (Hank Conger) chimes in with an icebreaking “Fuck em!” to get the ball rolling.

Hank Conger is the sixth-year-senior that still takes gen eds to scope out the talent in the new freshman class.

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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